“A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
– Oscar Wilde

I did this photo 7 years ago, and am just seeing the irony in it now.


That is me, stuck inside a bottle, the poster child for alcoholics everywhere.

It’s called Bottled Up Emotions, and it wasn’t my intention when I created it for it to have anything to do with addiction or alcoholism. 7 years later, it’s amazing how differently I interpret it. This is exactly what the disease feels like. This is what anxiety and mental health challenges feel like. This is what addiction looks like, inside an addicts mind.

Absolutely trapped inside the problem.

You can see through it, sometimes, but you can’t get out.



Written by SJ VanDee

Recovery Blogger. Sober AF. Photographer. Storyteller. Writer.


  1. Sounds like things are coming into focus. The fact that you are able to identify and articulate what you’re feeling in this way is spectacular. As long as we’re learning, we’re progressing. Although this is a difficult time, I pray you look back to it one day as a pivotal one. Your honesty is admirable.

    Liked by 1 person

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